~ RedSerge's Space ~

About For students Timeline Blog Poetry Mon Cher d'Ak

Recollecting my thoughts

February 13, 2018

I drink one cup of tea after another, sleepless, trapped in the nostalgia. Realizing that I just came to the point in my life’s road where the changes are in demand, swift and furious. Well, may be not that swift, half-furious, but I hope you get the point. By the way, hi, my actual name is not that significant right now, but I prefer to be called Serge (as you could, possibly, already deduct from the caption of this blog – in that case, hooray!).

Well, I am a programmer. And a scientist. And everything you could see on the page marked “About” somewhere above this bizarre public monologue you happen to read right now. The point is, I used to like doing different interesting (and not-so-much) stuff, speak on the scientific conferences and poetry forums, earning the praise and the prizes, criticism and disapproval, never give up, win it all any way possible (“possible” from the point of the moral code, mind you).

On my first job I was able to grow from a minor programmer to the Head of Department in less than a month. There was some delay with official papers, but decision made by my former boss was firm. Fast forward two years, and I successively (as well as successfully) had achieved the job of my dream, the house of my dream (almost in the center of my country’s Capital – not too noisy, yet not too far from the real, restless life, you know), even the wife of my dream!.. I was able to publish my book and distribute it to the shops across my country, as well. Not like that actually brought me any valuable profit or fame, but the whole thing was an interesting experience in itself.

It sounds like a foul bragging, I know. I’m sorry. May be there’s some other way, unknown to me, to describe this feeling… It just happened pretty rapidly, so I stood in delight, couldn’t realize that I really earned it somehow. The thing is, I was trapped in the prison of constant disbelief in myself for the most part of my adolescence. But somehow I made it disappear. Somehow, suddenly it all fell into place.

That’s when the night embraced me, gently forcing to take a deep breath of the frosty air. Tea. Hot or cold, whatever. Cup after cup after cup… Sinking tough thoughts that I need to change my life because all my victories just left me directionless. I must create a bunch of new goals, fill the life with a new sense. Oh, this tricky thing named “The comfort zone”. So boring to stay, so hard to leave…

For starters, it would be nice to clean the environment. Just drop most of these oh-so-usual social networks, try something new instead. New friends. New tasks. New style of doing my job. Maybe even new job, eventually… New field of research. My English is not as good as should be to immigrate or work abroad – so why keep this barrier any longer?.. I gotta get myself as busy as I can, anyway. Just make sure the heart attack won’t happen again.

That’s why I started this blog – to relax a bit and share my thoughts (or hyperlinks to them) from time to time. Also I like the Vivaldi Community (and Team) so far, as well as the browser itself. So it’s only natural to use this platform for some carefree irregular blogging… Although it’s more an exercise in English than anything serious, I think I would post some (hopefully) interesting notes in regards of my profession and hobbies, occasionally.

That’s all for now, I suppose. Thanks for reading! I’ll be back as soon as I have something to share.

Other posts... ☛